...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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