Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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