He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
