He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
