Your tits are I can't wait for
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
