we're blogging at a bar
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize