how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
