my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
