he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize