Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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