Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
