You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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