she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
