Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize