I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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