This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
