me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
