Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
