pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize