I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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