girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
