his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
