if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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