I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Operation Purity has been aborted
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize