i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
ugly people sure do ruin things
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
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