david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize