And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
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