My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I AM VODKA MAN
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize
