We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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