I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
