I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
