Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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