I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
