Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
