Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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