so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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