She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
