Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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