No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
