I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
