I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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