The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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