why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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