Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
