The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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