I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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