And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
