I cockslap morals
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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