Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
