He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
