dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I would fuck him just for his dog
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
