Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
