This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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