dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
