I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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