I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I think my moral compass just broke
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