Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
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