WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
