I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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