we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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