she was so not down for the gang bang
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
How drunk are you?
Completed.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize