and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
